Letting go of that love you thought would last forever…Why is it so hard?

January 25, 2016

“Let go and Let God”. Sounds easy right? To just let go of that woman, man, relationship, that dream, that situation. But it is not. Letting go can be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do. You have to let go of what you thought would last forever. All the plans the dreams the hopes you had. All gone.

I made a promise to myself about this blog and that was to be as honest and transparent as possible. So I will admit I have difficulty letting go. I hang on. Whether it be old clothing, that I might need one day or some trinket or that relationship (friendship or romantic).  I am that person that is willing to look at all avenues to make something work.  I just have such faith in people and change. I refuse to give up. It was pointed out to me that I have a hard time with failure. So that is why I hang on to a relationship or friendship that has run its course. I think a lot of us can relate to this.

But is it really “failing ?

In my opinion, I see now it is all about perception.  How you perceive a situation determines how you react to it and ultimately how you feel.  The emotions you go through all stem from your beliefs. So if you see it as a failed relationship or friendship then that is what you will focus on. You will feel negatively about it. However, if you see it as something positive. A lesson you had to learn in order to achieve your best life then you will be able to walk away without extreme pain and the letting go process will be quicker.

We have to know when something is over. When it is time to move on. Staying stuck in the past, wishing for what was, keeps you stagnant with no ability to move forward. This is what makes it so hard. It doesn’t feel good to be stuck in the past. It actually is a haven for depression. When you are concentrating on what was you can’t see what is in front of you in the present moment. Life passes you by.

When you can’t let go it is because you are resisting. Resistance is the devil when it comes to trying to let go. When you resist what is, you become frustrated and anxious and you will not be at peace with what ever is going on in your life. The more you cannot accept what is, the harder it is to let go.

In 1965 The Byrds had a song called “Turn!Turn!Turn” which rose to the top of the charts. The lyrics, were based on Chapter 3  of Book of Ecclesiastes. When we accept that some relationships are not meant to be forever, that there was a reason and a season for them makes it so much easier to let go.

So how does one let go? I am going to tell you what I do. It may not work for everyone but I find that it works for me. These are 5 simple things you can do.

1) Ask yourself, What is this for? Not Why did this happen? You may never know the why.

2) Get a journal. Think about what is going on. Get quiet with yourself. Close your eyes and listen to that inner voice. Your higher self. Ask yourself. What is the resistance about? Write down every emotion you feel. Do not edit. Every thought every feeling all of it. It needs to come out in order for you to heal.

3) Pray. I am a firm believer in the power of prayer. Ask God to help you let go. Ask God to help you forgive yourself and anyone else involved. Pray for the happiness of that person you are trying to let go of. Pray that God takes over. Pray for God to give you comfort and peace to accept what you can’t change.

4) Be kind to yourself. When we are in resistance mode we can be cruel to ourselves. We can be full of shame and condemnation. When negative thoughts come, dismiss them and know that you did the best you could given the knowledge that you had.

5) This is my favourite one. Look forward to the what the future holds. It is greater than your past. Far better than what you could ever imagine.

Living Prosperously

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