I recently watched a movie that made me really appreciate the value of friends and friendship. I watched "Girls Trip". A comedic film about four life long friends who take a trip after not seeing each other for years. During this getaway their friendship is rekindled and strengthened through tests of loyalty. I rather enjoyed this film and found myself laughing a lot. This movie reminded me of how important friendships are in life.
Friendship is defined as "the state of being friends" or "the quality or state of being friendly." I feel like that does not even give the true depth behind friendship. I think it is a relationship where people share similar values and interests. It is, to me, one filled with a combination of the following: trust, loyalty, love, respect, cooperation, affection, and support. A place where you feel comfortable to be you and bring all parts of you to the relationship.
Here are some key qualities that I think are vital for a happy, healthy and strong friendship...
1. Emotional Safety
Feeling safe to share what is going on in your life means that you don't have to think about whether this person is going to broadcast your life to others. You are able to share and process what you are going through with people who will support you and love you regardless of what you do.
2. Dependability
Being able to call up that friend when you need them to talk about any issue, to be able to get support from them and not have to be put off for weeks shows you you have someone you can rely on. If you have a person that makes up excuses every time you need them, they may not be the "ideal" friend.
3. Ability to be genuine
They tell it like it is. No sugar coating. If you have done something wrong, they tell you. If they see you going off-course... they tell you. If you are dating someone that is not good for you, they tell you. The friend you want is one that helps you become a better person. They don't tell you things that you want to hear, they tell you things that you need to hear for your growth as a person. You don't need a "YES" man. There is clear communication and conflicts are dealt with directly, which is a sign of a good relationship. They help you stay humble at times when you may forget what that means.
4. Ability to accept you flaws and all
They love you just the way you are. You don't have to pretend to be someone that you are not. You don't have to worry about being judged by them. There are no conditions placed on your relationship. No one is perfect. Everyone has insecurities that they struggle with and true friends recognize this and accept you with all of your flaws.
5. Ride or Die
Real friends stick with you through thick and thin. They do not bail at the sign of trouble in paradise. They work on improving the relationship and understand that relationships are not always roses and candy. They want the best for you and stick with you through the darkness and into the light. They will assist you in the hard times. A true friend knows that you can't do certain things on your own, you need the help of others to build you up and lift you to higher ground.
6. Fun
Relationships are boring without an aspect of fun. It is imperative that you enjoy being with each other. Being able to laugh with and at each other builds lasting memories.
7. Believes in you
A true friend believes in you. Supports you and is your biggest cheerleader. They feel your passion and know your vision for your future. They celebrate your successes with you and mourn your losses right along side you. They believe in you even when you don't. They push you to become a better person.
8. Listens to you
They listen to you. They really listen. They pay attention to what you are saying and are actively present in conversations with you. There is nothing worse than someone that is not completely there with you or someone that brings the conversation back to them.
9. Knows how to forgive
They understand that mistakes happen and we all make judgement errors from time to time when it comes to our relationships. The foundation of the friendship is based on love so when things that require forgiveness come up, there is a courage that surfaces to resolve the issue and move forward.
10. They make time
Friendship like any other relationship requires quality time spent. We all get busy with life, marriage, kids, work, school...etc... Things happen. However, true friends understand that, and carve out some time to catch up or the relationship falls apart. This catch up could be a phone call, text, actual meet up, some form of communication and when they do connect it is as if no time has passed at all.
I can say that I have some friendships that have all of these traits and more. Living prosperously depends on it.
